As most of you probably know, I am the extremely proud father of two incredible children.  My five year old boy has just completed his first term of primary school as what we call a preparatory student.  I am absolutely ecstatic at our choice of school as their policies and practices in regard to bullies – unruly behavior and the like is unquestionable.  My son is extremely well rounded and success driven, he is one of those kids that is happy, passionate, excited and friendly.  He has settled into his new regime with a skip in his step and a smile on his face.  On this hand, I am equally excited and happy for him in his transition from kinder garden to the commencement of his formal schooling.

On the other hand…

There is so much going on in the global media at the moment about children being bullied and hurting each other – bullies being hurt by their victims that they have pushed too far – kids hurting themselves to get away from how the bullies are either hurting them or threatening them and so on and so forth.

Bullying and harassment are often thought of separately; however both involve a more powerful person or group oppressing a less powerful person or group, often on the grounds of ‘difference’.  These differences can be related to culture, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, ability or disability, religion, body size and physical appearance, age, marital status, parenting status or economic status.

• may be physical (hitting, kicking, pinching), verbal (name-calling, teasing), psychological (standover tactics, gestures), social (social exclusion, rumours, putdowns) or sexual (physical, verbal or nonverbal sexual conduct)
• may be done directly (eg face to face) or indirectly (eg via mobiles or the internet)
• may be motivated by jealousy, distrust, fear, misunderstanding or lack of knowledge
• have an element of threat
• can continue over time
• are often hidden from adults
• will be sustained if adults or peers do not take action.

Discrimination is treating one person or group less fairly or less well than others. Discrimination may be direct or indirect and based on factors such as ability, culture, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, sexual orientation, physical appearance, age, religion, marital status, parenting status or economic status.

Individuals or groups can discriminate. So can an organisation’s policies and practices.

Violence is the damaging and destructive use of force. Violence is often used to assert power over individuals.

Violence:

• is not just physical – it takes many forms
• affects the safety, rights and freedom of others
• may be a one-off incident between individuals or groups
• can involve an ongoing relationship between parties
• may involve provoked or unprovoked acts
• may be used by those victimized by bullying to redress the imbalance of power.

Now, I know that I teach that energy flows where focus goes and by this teaching I am wondering are we, by focusing on all of this bullying/anti-bullying that is going on in the media at the moment that we are self perpetuating the very thing that we abhor.  But when I find myself looking at my little boy in primary school for the first time, I wonder…

Am I to focus on all that is magnificent for him and about him and provide him only with the tools required to deal with absolutely everything that he may encounter at school?  Is it not that my boy will not encounter bullies or aggressive kids in the playground?  Actually I hope that he encounters ALL types of children in the playground as it will only increase his ability to reason, liaise with others and build relationships will all types of people regardless of race, colour, creed, religion, socioeconomic background or anything else.

Either way, I KNOW that whatever experience my son encounters he will freely and openly share with both myself and my partner Nathalie exactly what occurred.  It is the requirement of the parents to raise their children in an openly communicative environment.  Children rebel, behave inappropriately/aggressively to others based on their understanding of how to get what they require in life.  These actions are passed onto them by the only source that they have access to…  Their parents.  Now whether this is directly, through personal actions or indirectly, through television, video games, DVDs, the news, or any other means is irrelevant.  All that matters is the responsibility of the parents to guide and develop the behaviour of their children.

Once again, I would like you to consider that we have a choice, we can focus on the symptoms…  BULLYING or we can focus on the cause…  THE PARENTS.

By focusing our attention on the cause we enable ourselves to look at creating a solution to this challenging situation.  The time has come to give the future back to our kids.  It’s our responsibility to not just look at stopping bullying in schools and the like but to stamp this out from the core.  I have always found it interesting that you need a license to get married but any Tom, Dick or Harry can have a child!  Now I am not suggesting that we insist on the  licensing of childbirth and/or pregnancy.  What I am suggesting is that we take our responsibility a little more seriously.

The time has come.

The great Australian rock band Midnight Oil wrote a song that aptly describes where we are on this.

The time has come,

To say fair’s fair,

To pay the rent,

To pay our share,

The time has come,

A fact’s a fact,

It belongs to them,

Let’s give it back.

Let’s give our children back the future that they deserve.  One filled with hope, the fulfillment of dreams and one that is abundant in ALL areas!  There is no question that the future is theirs, we are not here forever.  Is it not our obligation to ensure that this world improves and that our kids lives are better, easier, more enjoyable, and more abundant than our own?  The time has come, a fact’s a fact, it belongs to them, let’s give it back.